Accidents.

I'm really accident prone.
I was thinking about it today and I get hurt a lot.

1) I walk into walls.

I know, it's so stupid.
But those door frames... man, they get me every time.
Like, I feel like I'm going to make it into the doorway but then my hip or shoulder will hit the door frame because I have poor spatial sense I guess.
... and no, this doesn't only happen to me when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the washroom and I'm half asleep.

2) I trip on my own feet.

Happens all the time.
... and I hope nobody notices so I keep walking really briskly, like I have somewhere important to be.

3) I don't listen.

Sometimes, I'm just up in the clouds.
For example,
I'll be about to eat something, somebody will say:
"Watch out, it's hot"

and then I'll stick it in my mouth anyway... and fan my mouth for 30 seconds, gasping for air before I exclaim:
"OMG, that was SO hot, I burnt my mouth."

Duh, you douche.
They WARNED you already.