My goodness.

I.
Am.
Never.
Drinking.
That.
Much.
Ever.
Again.

EVER.

I:
1) puked my guts out
2) got threatened by a bouncer
3) made friends with the washroom attendant lady
4) got thrown into a cab (literally)
5) fell on the floor. twice.
6) re-twisted my right ankle
7) have a huge bruise the shape of a ghetto cell phone (because those ones are bigger) on my left thigh
8) woke up drunk
9) have a massive hangover
10) can't even look at chocolate cake without wanting to puke. CHOCOLATE CAKE PEOPLE.

=(

Baby, I like it.

It's weird sometimes that listening to certain songs can make you happy or sad.. or ridiculously emo.

My happy playlist
Enrique Iglesias - Baby, I Like It
Jason Derulo - Ridin' Solo
FloRida ft. David Guetta - Club Can't Handle Me
Mariana's Trench - Celebrity Status
Bruno Mars - Just the Way You Are
Lady Antebellum - any of their songs rock my world.

My emo playlist
Evermore - Light Surrounding You
Eminem ft. Rihanna - Love the Way You Lie

I think I'm lacking sad songs.

=)

And when you smile,

The whole world stops and stares for a while.
Cause girl, you're amazing.
Just the way you are.

Best. song. EVER.

I literally listen to this on repeat - it's like a song full of compliments so really, you can't go wrong... oh and the tune is pretty and Bruno Mars has the voice of an angel.

Also, last night, I watched The Last Song. That dude and his character are dreamy, okay? Country boy with great morals and values.. drives a pick-up truck.. plays volleyball... volunteers for an aquarium. Do guys like that really exist? Doubtful but PLEASE, PLEASE prove me wrong.

Okay, enough about me and my whiney self. I feel like I'm whinier when it's rainy or overcast outside - which it is.

A friend of a friend wrote this up - it's his "ideal girl" criteria. My friend sent it to me and thought I would appreciate it because I guess I seem like the kind of person who enjoys reading other peoples' lists of girl criteria.

Who am I kidding, I love it.

Here it is:

Thoughts and comments?
It's pretty realistic. Nothing TOO crazy in there I suppose but I thought a couple of things were worth mentioning:

1) Smart but not smarter - HAHA. I liked this one - it made me laugh. Nothing wrong with wanting an educated girl and wanting her to think you're really smart... I mean, who doesn't want to feel smart all the time. Ego boost FTW.

2) Has to know how to dance - hmm.. he needs to be more specific.. foxtrot? waltz? salsa? grinding? because if it's just the latter, she just has to pretty much sit on you on the dance floor while you move her around a bit....that sounds really dirty.

Grinding is pretty dirty now that I think of it. Whatever happened to the good old days when the Hand Jive was all the craze?

3) Looks-wise - he's very realistic; he probably described about 50% of the female population.

4) Handful - first of all, handful of what? I assume he's talking about boobies. Yes, I call them boobies - it's a funny word. In that case, how big are his hands... BAHAHAHA. Let's assume that he means B or C cup because otherwise, he has baby hands.

5) Bubble butt - HAHA. Not saggy and not flat - realistic. Except when I think bubble butt, I think Beyonce and J. Lo.

I think if he means not saggy and not flat.. he just wants a butt. period.

6) Cuddly but not clingy - awww, he likes to cuddle but when he doesn't want to cuddle anymore.. you better let go. None of that saran wrap shizz. LOL, get it? Because saran wrap is clingy? Yeah, i'm like the definition of corny.

7) Good at making out/ giving head/ spits or swallows - so bluntly stated. I want to say that I think making out is an opinion because person A could think person B is good but person C could think person B is shit depending on how person A and person C make out. Whoa, that was algebra-esque.

Also... this guy has high standards for head - thou shalt let him finish in your mouth.

8) Has to drive stick - I agree, girls who drive stick are hot.

9) Same taste in music - I think this is kind of weird for a criteria. It's nice to date someone who has the same taste in music but I really don't think it's necessary. Besides, if you have different taste in music - you get to learn more and know more genres... right?

If there are girls out there who fit this criteria, holler at this boy.. whoever he is. He's searching for his soulmate.

Good luck friend.

Now, somebody make an "ideal boy" list and send it to me.

Spanks.

...If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same - Bruno Mars.

Germany, Austria, Switzerland.

I couldn't think of a creative title for this blog entry so.. I figured, let's keep it simple and the result was *see above* TA DAAA..

So for some reason, I thought that I had already started writing about these countries and all I needed to do was finish it off but I got to my blog editing page and there was no draft so I was a little sad but it's okay because I actually feel like putting my random thoughts into black and white on my computer right now - or green and grey, whatever.

Germany
1) Go eat currywurst. It's this sausage with curry sauce and curry powder on top. I have no idea exactly what goes into it but it's unbelievably delicious. I remember when I had it, the people made me pay 1 euro deposit for the plate and then in order to get my 1 euro back, I needed to return the plate when I finished eating and show them my receipt to make sure I hadn't stolen the plate from before...

I guess people steal plates in Europe.

2) Schnitzel is a traditional German dish - basically, deep fried pork chop. It tastes like pork katsu. Nothing special to be honest but I was in Germany so I thought, what the hey!

3) The market in Germany was unreal. Everything was so fresh and everywhere you turned, there was some sort of food. My only regret was that my stomach wasn't big enough and I didn't have enough money. Stupid small stomach.

So I just noticed that all my interesting notes about Germany are about food. NICE. Clearly, food is very important to me... and my lifestyle.. of eating.. all the time..

Austria
1) They blow raspberries when they talk. Like, they'll say something and it will sound pretty serious and then all of a sudden they go " PFFFTTTTTBLLLLL" ...

I remember the first time I heard slash saw it, I literally thought " W.. T... F, SHE JUST SPIT ON ME." but I'm just a tourist so I didn't say anything.

Thank goodness I didn't say anything since it's a cultural thing. ROFL.

2) In Saltzburg, there's nothing for young people to do since all the older people occupy the bars and generally, they're pretty pricey. We were looking for something to do at night so we asked a lady who told us that everybody sits by the canal to drink/ smoke and they also hang out at Mcdonald's.

We thought she was lying to us because she was trying to preach religion to us and she wouldn't want us to go clubbing and such. She was telling the truth. People really hang out at Mcdonald's and.. sit on the side of the canal playing cards at night.

LAME.

3) Go to the ice caves. It's worth the money. It's really cold. Bring a jacket. That is all.

Did you know that...
a) Saltzburg is named that way because they have rich salt deposits?
b) They have the biggest ice caves in the world in Saltzburg?
c) The Swiss alps range from Vienna, Austria to Marseilles, France?(we went to both places)
d) The highest point on the Swiss alps is Mont Blanc in France?

That's what my tour guide said and she cost us 50 euro, so you know that's legit.

Switzerland
1) People in Switzerland have really nice small straight noses. I want one.

2) Switzerland was our last stop so it was really bittersweet, I didn't want it to end and I really fell in love with this country. You need to go at least once in your life. The nature is amazing and the air is so fresh - the whole lifestyle.. unbelievable.

3) In Geneva, when they say hello or goodbye, they kiss thrice - alternating cheeks as they go. It's not like in France where they kiss twice!

4) I rode a horse in Untrsaan, Switzerland which is the countryside (and Switzerland is already pretty country already so imagine how beautiful it was). It was me and my guide. Her horse kept farting in my face but surprisingly, it didn't smell too bad - I was thankful.

Also, horse flies are SO SCARY. Huge mofos.

I hate bugs but after the Eurotrip, my tolerance has definitely increased. GO ME!

5) The water in Switzerland is really really cold. I know because I went skinnydipping in it. WHAT UP.

Next entry... will be more general now that you all have the basic information down pat... and by basic information, I mean whatever random thoughts occurred to me while I was in Europe.

=)

PS/ Last night, I was watching MTV and I heard Paul the Intern use this pickup line - GENIUS that he is: "You're so hot, you're making my beer warm."

love it.

Paris onwards.

So as things happened throughout my trip, I made sure to take note of "important" things on my bb.

Here's what I got for the remainder of the trip which I haven't spoken about but obvi, there are other things too in terms of what I'll miss, some memorable quotes and such which I will post up later.

Paris
1) Paris has really hot black girls. Seriously, the hottest I have ever seen. I was impressed.

2) Paris had a shitload of guys walking around in navy uniform. HOLLER at me bahahah i joke (kind of)

3) Interracial couples were HUGE here.

4) Once again, they had souvenir condoms. Maybe it's a European thing.

5) Women don't believe in bras and when they do wear bras, they wear see through clothes.

We adapted to the point where each morning, one of us would wake up and say:

"Guys, do you think this is too revealing..."

to which we would respond:
"Pshh, it's okay - we're in France!"

6) Basically, Paris is like Toronto but French.. and more romantic and artsy. There's more graffiti and it's a bit cleaner.. and the subway system is way crazier but yeah, JUST LIKE HOME.

Brugges
1) Go eat stroop waffle. It is amazing.

2) I biked from Brugges to the border of Netherlands and Belgium. It was amazing and honestly, even though my bum was literally bruised from sitting on a bike all day long - I would do it again.. twice.

Amsterdam
1) It smells like weed everywhere and when it doesn't smell like weed, it smells like pee because well, don't get me started on the public washrooms for guys which are literally little sheets of metal and boys pee on the street while watching people walk past them. Yeah... it was.. interesting.

See what I mean by "they're so OPEN."

2) I had a 1/3 of a hash brownie and passed out for 2 days. Yes, I am the definition of weaksauce. It was a yummy brownie though.

We went into a cafe and like noobs, looked at the menu and didn't see the brownie on it so we asked the server and she said:

"Go see the dealer."

WHOA, there's a dealer in these cafes and he has his own little counter with different weed and hash brownies and stuff...

3) Yes, there are girls standing in windows in Amsterdam who sell sexual favours. Some are hot, some are not. I feel like they have girls for.. every fetish you could possible have - older, younger, taller, shorter, thinner, wider ... you name it - they got it!

The best was when we were walking by and we saw this guy come out and he thanked the girl for her services. LOL. so legit.

Europe in general
1) There is a ridiculous amount of PDA. Like, by the end of it - when I saw people making out in the streets, they just blended into the background... it was the people lying on top of each other making out and pulling at each other's hair in the middle of a public park that got my attention and even then... it was kind of like: "whoa they're getting into it.. ehhh... seen it."

2) They are SO liberal. Like, people ask you to have threesomes with them. They're not afraid to stare you down or holler at you in the streets. It's surprisingly refreshing aka Canadian boys are pussies. That's RIGHT - I said it.

Prove me wrong bahaha.

S2
Germany, Austria, Switzerland = next post...
my fingers are tired.

Whoop whoop!

I'm back and I'm alive.

Insert round of applause.

I have so much to share and write but let's be serious, I don't have the time to do it all in one sitting or right now because I have a shitload of stuff sitting in my room waiting to be unpacked and now I think I'm getting sick.

Plus, I need to catch up with my family and friends so... I will be very slowly blogging about my trip, my reflections and my revelations.

Keep you guys on the edge of your seats, you know?

I will tell you I took a bunch of videos on my bb.

BB FTW.

Gotta run errands now.
Gosh Wal-Mart, how I have missed you.

S2